today was my last day at work.

  grumpy old man 18:35 19 Jul 2019

I have been working for a vending machine company for the last 13 years , testing and inspecting machines before they go out to customers. In a few weeks I will be 64 and due to family health problems I have decided to call it a day.

This was my closing speech to all my workmates , some people lolled and a few cried but I would like to share with you what I said.


I started work almost 49 years ago , I don’t know why but every where I have worked I seem to have been treated like shit by either so called work mates , bosses or over ambitious union men.

Maybe some people just saw me as an easy target.

That all stopped when I joined this company in august 2006.

I can remember the day Paul showed me round what eventually became my work area I asked him so many questions I think I fried his brain because I suddenly noticed him pushing me closer and closer to the fire exit. I felt a big boot heading in my direction.

I need to say a big thank you to Mick ( my director/boss ) , over the years he has pissed me off , wound me up , stressed me out , done my head in and on few occasions I have wanted to smack him. Joking apart though, he is the only person ever to give me a job with a lot of trust and a lot of responsibility, I gave it my best shot Mick and would just like to think I repaid the trust you put in me.

As for everyone else your the best workmates I’ve ever had the privilege to work with, there have been lots of laughter and a few tears. Whenever anyone has needed help with anything we have always been there for each other.

Over the years some of us have lost family members and close friends; we have also lost some workmates as well. Bill, Sylvia, Barbara, and of course the biggest shock of all Linda. I think about Linda almost every day because I have photos of her in different folders on my pc.

As I walk out of the door for the last time I will be taking 2 boxes with me, my tool box and a box full of happy memories that will stay with me for a long time.

* I was ok reading this till I mentioned Linda

The company only employs about 30 but they clubbed together and bought me a huge Tommy Hilfiger watch , an engraved whiskey tumbler and a few bottles to put in it.

  Pine Man 14:32 21 Jul 2019

Welcome to the club. I joined it 20 years ago and I have never looked back apart from being busier now than when I was working!

  amonra 13:40 22 Jul 2019

where have those nearly 30 years gone ??? It was never like that in my day grrrrrr

  grumpy old man 15:11 22 Jul 2019

I wonder if the wife is doing a secret "jobs to do list" , every retired person I talk to says they don't know how they managed to find time to go to work.

  wee eddie 15:35 22 Jul 2019

You are treading on thin ice there.

Of course she has a "To-Do" list. Ignore it at your peril. Paint the Window Frames is probably near the top

  grumpy old man 15:46 22 Jul 2019

Thankfully I don't have frames to paint BUT your job suggestion went to the top of the list on what me be the hottest day of the year , I just finished cleaning all the window frames with jiff and 28 windows plus 2 lots of facia boards and the facia boards on the side of the carport.

I did manage to scare her , she heard a loud bang , it was the wind shutting the bedroom door , I did not hear her shouting me and she thought I had had an accident.

  john bunyan 16:11 22 Jul 2019

I always have about 6 jobs in my wife’s “to do” list. If I do, say, 3, the list never decreases as new jobs are added. High pressure jetting of patio , painting shed, big fence are only the tip of a never melting iceberg. As for having time to read a paper, forget it, or “she who must be obeyed “ will ask when I’m starting work.

  Forum Editor 23:08 22 Jul 2019

"( I was mjs warlord )"

I know who you were.

  Govan1x 23:39 22 Jul 2019

Well my motto is never do today what you can do tomorrow.

I get away with it sometimes but not all of the time.

I can't do things that I could do when i was younger is my excuse. Not really an excuse as it is true.

I think my hardest job was tying my shoe laces.Then Velcro came along and made it much easier for me.

Mind you I can make a nice cup of tea when pushed.

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