The goose is getting fat

  Bingalau 16:15 19 Nov 2007

Just received this one, but I think it came last year as well...

by Carolyn D. Tyson

All I want for Christmas
Is a bit of peace and quiet
I don't want tips on hairstyles
Or on little black dress diet's
Or how to stuff a turkey
With some chestnut puree stuff
There's one whole month to go yet
And I've blumming had enough

And then there's all the shopping
Traipsing round the decked out mall's
And Frosty Flipping Snowman playing
Drives me up the wall's
The kid's all throwing tantrums
Mum's just let them run about
If I was Father Christmas
Rest assured, they'd all get nowt!!

All I want for Christmas
Is some turkey for me dinner
Throw in some sprout's and taties
And to me you've got a winner
But Deliah keeps cropping up
In every flipping place
The newspaper, the telly
When I sleep, I see her face

She stuff's a turkey with a goose
In that, she stuffs a pheasant
Meanwhile "This Morning" shows me how
And when to wrap my presents
And Deliah keeps harping on
'Bout how to glaze me carrots
I'm quite surprised we've not been taught
To marinate a parrot!!

All I want for Christmas
Are some memories of old
When snowflakes fluttered silently
In frosty sky's so cold
When Santa's sleigh flew past the moon
Amongst the stars so bright
And Sis' and I could hear his bells
As he came Christmas night

The smell of coffee on the stove
Log's crackling in the grate
And waking up at 5 am
When no more could we wait
And racing down in dressing gown's
To present's round the tree
And shrieking with unbridled joy
"Get up Dad, quick he's been"

All I want for Christmas
Is to be that child again
Re-kindle all my childhood dreams
If any should remain
But all I get is Deliah
She's making cranberry jelly
And promises of old repeats
To watch on Christmas telly

Give me back my Christmas
With traditions I remember
Don't overload me with that stuff
From half-way through September
Give the kid's a Christmas
Of the kind that you can't buy
And let them hear old Rudolph's bells
As Santa's sleigh flies by.

  Forum Editor 18:09 19 Nov 2007

every year.

  wee eddie 19:25 19 Nov 2007

my voice started sounding more and more like that of Pam Ayres?

  Forum Editor 19:29 19 Nov 2007

Because you heard me reading it - I couldn't help making the same mental leap.

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