Favorite one liners

  onthelimit 09:12 24 Jan 2011

It's a dank, wet morning in my part of Shropshire and I need cheering up. So, what are your favorite one liners (from any source).

I'll kick of with the note on fridge door "Gone to bed - dinner's in the dog".

  morddwyd 09:26 24 Jan 2011

"Sorry, must leave. I've got an early start".

"You've got an early finish too."

(OK, so that's two lines)

(Be a bit surprised if this thread is still open at cease work!)

  Quickbeam 09:34 24 Jan 2011

I've always liked this one of Twain's.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please...

  Bingalau 09:44 24 Jan 2011

morddwyd. Your comment on the threads life is about to be proved true.

  Kevscar1 10:05 24 Jan 2011

Do you like kids, wan't to go halves

  peter99co 10:42 24 Jan 2011

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

  QuizMan 10:44 24 Jan 2011

A ship carrying red paint collided with one carrying blue paint and now they're marooned.

  mr simon 11:16 24 Jan 2011

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night worrying about the existence of Dog.

  minilite 11:38 24 Jan 2011

I did get you a present,but i haven,t fixed the fuse to it yet

  Seth Haniel 11:54 24 Jan 2011

Is better than Nothing


  michaelw 12:17 24 Jan 2011

May West had some good ones. My favorite was, 'When I'm good I'm very, very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.'

Another Churchill one was said after Lady Astor accused him of being drunk: 'In the morning I'll be sober but you'll still be ugly.'

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