You have a few choices. You can write your program using the standard buttons and include a manifest file with it. This will persuade Windows XP to apply its buttons and toolbars to your program. A manifest file is an XML document with the extension of ".manifest"
Example code of a manifest file is:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" standalone="yes"?>
<assembly xmlns="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:asm.v1" manifestVersion="1.0">
<assemblyIdentity name="Microsoft.Windows.ProgramName" processorArchitecture="x86" type="win32" version="22.214.171.124"/>
<assemblyIdentity type="win32" name="Microsoft.Windows.Common-Controls" version="126.96.36.199" language="*" processorArchitecture="*" publicKeyToken="6595b64144ccf1df"/>
If this seems complex, that's because it can be. It also only works on XP systems; other versions of Windows will display the default Win98 style buttons and toolbars.
Your other options are to design your own custom graphics, but this can entail a lot of work since you'll need every graphic in all states (mouse over, mouse down, static and so on) or to download and use an existing library, and I don't know of a free one for you. Sorry.
Also try Google with the following search criteria;
There are some very nice XP add on libraries, but as I've said, I don't know of a free one and (bizarrely) the best one I've seen yet is for Delphi, not VB.
Hope this helps.