you have quite a few issues here.
lets see if we can get the ethernet sorted.
Are you using XP?
If so go to control panel > network connections and open it. Is there an icon for Local Area connection? If there is, is it set to enabled? If it's not, the right click it an enable it.
If it is not listed. Right click my computer > properties > hardware > device manager. Have you got any yellow exclamation marks in there? If you have, post back.