that you aren't the first person to have problems like this - we've seen quite a few complaints about 1&1's customer service - or lack thereof. I had a 1&1 account myself, but one of my clients' web sites went offline for days, and despite several calls to the technical help desk the problem still wasn't rectified a couple of weeks later. In the end I gave up in despair, and transferred my business to heartinternet.co.uk - since when I haven't looked back.
We did have the promise of a 1&1 forum presence a while back, but it too failed because of their apparent reticence to respond to problems within a meaningful timescale. I'm sure that 1&1 have many satisfied clients, and that most of the time things run smoothly. It's when there's a problem - as in your case - that it all seems to fall apart. It's infuriating not to be able to speak to someone who can resolve matters promptly, and I can well understand your irritation. There's no governing body for web hosts, and you obviously need action as soon as possible.
I'll gladly try to intervene with 1&1 on your behalf if you would like me to do so. Email me (use the 'Contact Forum Editor' button in the blue box at top left of the page) with details of your account and I'll contact someone at a senior level. It's worked in the past, so you never know.