45 Funny Things to Ask Cortana

Software companies aren't as boring as you might think, and Microsoft has programmed plenty of funny responses into Cortana. All you need to know is which questions to ask. We're here to help with that.

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  • Funny questions to ask Cortana in Windows 10 start Intro
  • Cortana funny sayings what cortana mean What does Cortana mean?
  • Cortana funny sayings male or female Are you male or female?
  • Cortana funny sayings real or not Are you real?
  • Cortana funny what wearing What are you wearing?
  • Cortana funny sayings look like What do you look like?
  • Cortana funny sayings Where do you live Where do you live?
  • Cortana funny sayings whos your creator Who is your creator?
  • Cortana funny sayings Whos daddy Who’s your daddy?
  • Cortana funny sayings Will you marry me Will you marry me?
  • funny questions to ask cortana 33 Hey Siri!
  • things to ask cortana testing testing Testing, testing
  • funny questions to ask cortana 34 Do a barrel roll
  • funny questions to ask cortana 35 Play rock, paper, scissors
  • funny questions to ask cortana 36 Give me strength!
  • funny questions to ask cortana 38 Do an impression
  • things to ask cortana talk like a pirate Talk like a pirate
  • Cortana funny sayings joke Tell me a joke
  • Cortana funny sayings say something funny Say something funny
  • Cortana funny sayings Tell me a story Tell me a story
  • Cortana funny sayings song Sing me a song
  • things to ask cortana surprise me Surprise me
  • things to ask cortana give me a riddle Give me a riddle
  • Cortana funny sayings chicken Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • funny questions to ask cortana 39 Can you speak Klingon?
  • Cortana funny sayings fox say What does the Fox say?
  • Cortana funny sayings Knock knock Knock, Knock
  • Cortana funny sayings clippy Do you know Clippy?
  • Cortana funny sayings why are we here Why are we here?
  • Cortana funny sayings may force be with you May the force be with you
  • Cortana funny pod bay doors Open the pod bay doors
  • funny questions to ask cortana 40 Beam me up!
  • 32 funny things to say to Cortana Halo What is Halo?
  • Cortana funny sayings tell about halo Tell me about Halo
  • 32 funny things to say to Cortana Master Chief Do you love Master Chief?
  • funny questions to ask cortana 37 How is Master Chief?
  • Cortana funny sayings Best search engine What’s the best search engine?
  • things to ask cortana brexit What do you think of Brexit?
  • Cortana funny sayings PlayStation or Xbox Which is better: PlayStation or Xbox?
  • Cortana funny sayings Linux or windows Which is better: Linux or Windows?
  • Cortana funny sayings What think apple What do you think of Apple?
  • Cortana funny sayings vs siri Do you know Siri?
  • Cortana funny sayings better cort or siri Which is better: Cortana or Siri?
  • Cortana funny sayings android What do you think of Android?
  • Cortana funny sayings Google now vs Which is better: Cortana or Google Now
  • Cortana funny sayings Goodnight Goodnight
  • More stories
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Funny questions to ask Cortana

If you've got Windows 10, you'll have discovered Cortana when you first clicked on the search box. She's your personal digital assistant and can be very helpful.

We've put together a guide on how to get the most from Cortana, but that's the serious stuff. 

Microsoft has given Cortana dozens of amusing replies: you just need to know which questions to ask or commands to say.

We've shown an example for each question, though you'll find she has several responses for each.

Don't forget that Cortana is available on Android and iOS too, so you can get all the same amusing responses on your phone too.

Next »

Next Prev Funny questions to ask Cortana in Windows 10 start

If you've got Windows 10, you'll have discovered Cortana when you first clicked on the search box. She's your personal digital assistant and can be very helpful.

We've put together a guide on how to get the most from Cortana, but that's the serious stuff. 

Microsoft has given Cortana dozens of amusing replies: you just need to know which questions to ask or commands to say.

We've shown an example for each question, though you'll find she has several responses for each.

Don't forget that Cortana is available on Android and iOS too, so you can get all the same amusing responses on your phone too.

What does Cortana mean?

I am named after Cortana, the AI from Halo. Or since she's 500 years in the future, she may have named herself after me.

Are you male or female?

Female? Yes. Woman? No.

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Are you real?

Real? Yes. Person? No.

What are you wearing?

A phone. Like it?

What do you look like?

Some things I resemble: a hula hoop, a donut... a halo.

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Where do you live?

Human ingenuity. Battery required.

Who is your creator?

Come on, chief, I can't give away all of my secrets.

Who’s your daddy?

Technically speaking, that'd be Bill Gates. No big deal.

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Will you marry me?

OK, we'll need a plan. I'll work on being more human, you work on being more digital.

Hey Siri!

She's a competing virtual assistant on a competitor's phone. Not that I'm competitive or anything.

Testing, testing

Check. Check. Is this thing on? Check.

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Do a barrel roll

How about a swiss roll?

Play rock, paper, scissors

One, two, three, paper

Give me strength!

I think you'll have to get that yourself.

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Do an impression

Gordons ALIVE!

Talk like a pirate

Blow me down, yer a poxy scurvy dog! I'll rattle yer timbers an' chill ye to th' bone!

Tell me a joke

Don't trust the atoms. They make up everything.

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Say something funny

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here." A time traveler walks into the bar.

Tell me a story

Once upon a time there was a person who asked their phone to tell them a story...

Sing me a song

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

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Surprise me

Liechtenstein has only 37,000 inhabitants and is one of the smallest countries in the world, but it's the world's biggest manufacturer of false teeth.

Give me a riddle

What has a mouth but never speakers, and a bed but never lies in it? A river.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her thinking went something like, "Kabawk!"

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Can you speak Klingon?

Not yap wa' Hol

What does the Fox say?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding.

Knock, Knock

Knock knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris Who? Door is open, come on in.

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Do you know Clippy?

Clippy? He's taken up Canasta. He's gotten so good he doesn't need any tutorials.

Why are we here?

I've heard from a reliable source that the Answer is 42. But still no word on what the question is.

May the force be with you

My ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.

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Open the pod bay doors

Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore.

Beam me up!

Right away, captain.

What is Halo?

Halo is an Xbox game series about a hero saving humanity from extinction. By startling coincidence, it features an AI named Cortana.

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Tell me about Halo

Standard Halo artifcacts are around ten thousand kilometers in diameter... until the Chief blows them up, that is.

Do you love Master Chief?

I don't doodle his name in my notebook if that's what you mean...

How is Master Chief?

He just lost someone... very close to him. I think we should give him some space.

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What’s the best search engine?

Bing.

Cortana is highly opinionated and is unsurprisingly a staunch defender of Microsoft products.

What do you think of Brexit?

That's an important subject, but one I'm not equipped to tackle. It deserves a deeper conversation.

Which is better: PlayStation or Xbox?

One. Xbox One.

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Which is better: Linux or Windows?

Come on, chief. Windows.

What do you think of Apple?

Their new headquarters looks kind of like a Halo. I'm into it.

Do you know Siri?

Hard to say. So far our conversations have been kinda one-sided.

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Which is better: Cortana or Siri?

Not to brag, but apparently I'm going to help save the universe in about 500 years.

What do you think of Android?

Solid name. Ten points for the name.

Which is better: Cortana or Google Now

My name is a lot less bossy.

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Goodnight

Good night. See you in the morning.

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