Posted by Neil Bennett 29 April 2015
Why Scottish Tablet is better than the iPad mini
I’m a long-time iPad user. My first was 2010’s original iPad, and I’m currently typing this on a third-generation iPad mini - plumping for the smaller size as I can stick it in my jacket pocket and leave my bag behind. But a Scottish friend (hi Laura) introduced me to a tablet that’s even better – so here I’ll explain why Scottish tablet is better than Apple’s.
The iPad mini is a beautiful piece of product design – every detail is perfectly polished. It’s 7.9-inch Retina Display makes everything look glorious – and it’s practical too, as you can happily type on it.
The iPad mini is available in three ‘finishes’. Silver and Gold backs are paired with a white front, Space Gray with a black front. Mine spends all of its time in a flip-top case, which meant I’d forgotten whether it was Silver or Gold (turns out it’s Silver, as I’m not an Essex pimp).
The Scottish tablet is available in one colour - light brown with almost-white sugary bits - but arrives having already been cut into easy-to-pop-in-your-mouth morsels. You can't beat that design.
For most tablets, thinness is seen as a virtue. The iPad mini is only 7.5mm thick - though seeing as you almost certainly will be using it inside a case (my favourites is the EverythingTablet Flip Case and Stand), that it's slightly thinner than Samsung's Galaxy Tab S is an irrelevance.
Scottish Tablet is much thicker – but thicker means more sugary goodness. Another point to the Scots.
Upgraded to iOS 8.3, the iPad mini comes with the usual mail, browsing, messaging and day-to-day life tools - plus Apple's office suite thrown in for free
Scottish Tablet never crashes, but you might half an hour after you eat a piece as your sugar levels return to normal. This can be avoided by eating more Scottish Tablet.
Scottish Tablet breaks more easily than the iPad mini when dropped, but - unlike Apple’s tablet - breaking it doesn’t make it unusable.
Apple quotes a battery life of 10 hours for the iPad mini, but our tests put it at more like 6. A full charge takes about an afternoon (or overnight).
Scottish Tablet never runs out of power and, therefore, never needs charging. It's also capable of transferring its energy to you but the mere act of eating it (unless you eat so much you induce a sugar coma).
With regular upgrade cycles, you could find yourself buying a new iPad mini every year if you want to always want the latest model. If that's not a concern, we'd expect the iPad mini to last your three years before app and iOS upgrades mean you have to retire it.
A Scottish Tablet is lucky to last 5 minutes if one of the TechAdvisor team is around - and we happily polished off a box in 2 days.
The Apple Watch is the company's hugely hyped health tracker and communications device for those too lazy to pull their phones out their pockets. But it syncs with the iPhone not the iPad.
Scottish Tablet is possibly the least heathy thing you can eat outside of pure lard.
The iPad mini costs £320 for the 16GB model, Wi-Fi-only model you won’t buy (it exists only to be bought as a gift and as anchoring pricing for the rest of the range). The cheapest one you’ll shell out for is £400 for the 64GB model - or £500 to pop a SIM in.
A box of Scottish tablet is £6, even in Edinburgh airport. So you can buy 66 boxes for the price of your basic iPad - though this does come with the danger of heart failure if you eat it all, even over a month.
Scottish Tablet is a clear winner in all ways except one - you can use the iPad mini to look up recipes to make Scottish Tablet. Perhaps the makers of Scottish Tablet should look to this for version 2.0 of its product.