One of Intel’s next generation of chips – Xeon Phi – is codenamed Knight's Landing, which is a perfect excuse for some processor-themed Game of Thrones punnage. Here we imagine what other Intel chips would be like if they were named after GoT characters.

  • Hodor – Only does only one thing, but does it consistently.
  • Littlefinger – Tells you it’s doing one thing. Does another
  • Brienne of Tarth – Powerful but won’t fit in your laptop. Or your desktop.
  • Ned Stark – Gets more powerful over time. Then dies.
  • Tyrion Lannister – Small and surprisingly powerful. Liquid cooled.
  • The Mountain – Powerful but does whatever it wants. But are you going to argue with it?
  • Joffrey Baratheon – A weak chip prone to crashing that you installed by accident but can’t get rid of.
  • Arya Stark – Small, surprisingly quick. Fits easily into a male or female socket.
  • Daenerys Targaryen – Destined for great things but you’ll have to fit a case on it for the second season.
  • Jon Snow – Ineffective unless ice-cooled.


The new Xeon Phi chip is Intel’s largest and also most powerful chip package to date. In nerd terms, it can deliver over 3 teraflops of peak performance, which is in the range of chips used to crunch complex math calculations in the world’s fastest computers.