We've seen many iPad accessories over the year that we'd describe as crap – but none til now that we'd be making a literal reference. The iPotty – yes, really – is a potty with a built-in iPad stand. It's not a joke – it's a real product. You can buy it from Amazon UK for £29.99 – though I can't think of why you'd actually want to.

You can guess at how the iPotty came into being. It can be challenging to get some children to stay on the potty – as they get bored quickly and want to wander off in search of something more interesting to do, even if that means leaving a trail of unpleasantness behind them. So rather than plonking them in front of the TV while they do what they need to do – or, you know, talking to them and playing with them – we imagine the iPotty's designer came up with the idea of keeping them occupied playing games or having educational experiences (or watching things on iPlayer than they could easily watch on TV).

There are more flaws here than in the Shard (ok, that pun works better out loud). Firstly, kids get attached to the trappings and routine of certain tasks, where that's bathtime, bedtime or using the toilet – and no parent wants to end up with a child who will only poo if they're playing Toca Train.

Secondly, at least initially, kids have a habit of putting their hands between their legs when something's going on down there. And then they're going to touch your iPad, transferring germs and possibly worse things.

Thirdly, every child knocks or kicks over their potty at some point. Most parents have too. No matter how careful I would be around the iPotty, I certainly would want to risk the chance of my beautifully designed iPad getting covered with faecal matter, and I doubt you would too. I also don't like the idea of going to Apple Store to get my iPad fixed, to be told there's going to be a big charge due to water damage – and then having to explain that it wasn't water.

OK, that's just three main flaws. There are more – emptying it looks to be a bit of a pain, for example – but they're kinda irrelevant as I can't get past the overarching one: no one wants poo on their iPad, and the iPotty could lead to this. All other considerations pale next to that possibility.

The iPotty even works with out-of-focus, badly Photoshopped babies apparently.

The iPotty allows iPads to be used in both landscape and portrait modes, giving you two different ways you or your child could knock it over and get something horrible all over the floor (or worse, your iPad).

The iPotty comes with a lid. We don't think this will help much.

You can easily adjust the position of the iPad to exactly the right angle to catch your or your child's foot under and spray urine everywhere.