Valuing family

  Kate B 19:01 19 Aug 2007

A positive thread, I hope. Last week my family said goodbye to my grandmother, who had died aged 94. We had a big family gathering, which, unlike many folk I know, was entirely warm, loving and supportive: as positive an experience of a funeral I think anyone could hope to find. Most of her 20 direct descendants were there: her three children, her eight granddaughters and one of her two grandsons, as well as six of her seven great-grandchildren.

I've just had an email from my first cousin once removed - my grandfather's nephew - who I met for the first time on Wednesday, sharing with me some wonderful letters his uncle, my grandfather, had sent him setting out some of his family history. Even though my grandfather died 25 years ago, I'm smiling as the letters are not only fascinatingly informative about family history I had no inkling of, but I can also hear very strongly my grandfather's voice in the letter.

There's some real joy come out of a sad occasion and I have this week felt very lucky to have a wonderful family.

  WhiteTruckMan 19:08 19 Aug 2007

are at times incredibly trying, but are more than balanced by being an incredible resource that should be cared for and nurtured wherever possible.

I feel for your loss kate, but am also pleased for you that you have found comfort, joy and dare I say it. happiness from this sad event.


  anskyber 19:08 19 Aug 2007

That's good Kate. 94 is a good innings even though your grandmother might have thought otherwise.

Without getting too philosophical about this in my view this is what I think life after death is really all about. Memories, and perhaps an understanding from the living of the positive things those who are gone have achieved. Maybe even try to emulate. If not then smile about their shortcomings....we all have them!

  Totally-braindead 19:23 19 Aug 2007

Its always nice to see your family again, especially if its family you have never met. Its just a shame that this seems to be one of the few times we all get together. Weddings and funerals that is.
Family is very important and although it was a sad occasion I'm sure you enjoyed meeting up with everyone again.
You have my sympathy, little as it may be worth, and 94 is, as anskyber has said, a good run.

  Kate B 19:32 19 Aug 2007

Thank you, guys - the sympathy and kind words are appreciated. I very much wanted to flag up how such an occasion ended up being so positive: I think many people find their families different and I've been reminded this week how lucky I am that my family isn't a problem but a positive in my life.

  Spark6 20:02 19 Aug 2007

As you hoped, I found your post very positive because, like you, I have experienced the same sort of feelings at family funeral gatherings.

As TB said, it is such a shame that it is only at weddings and funerals, sometimes at christenings, that the extended family seem to get together.

At my younger brother's funeral, a few years ago, I had the opportunity to discuss family history with two of my cousins who I had not seen for about fifty years. We are now in contact and have exchanged photographs and also taken the opportunity to fill in so many gaps in our knowledge of each others immediate families.
An excellent reminder.

  dukeboxhero 20:55 22 Aug 2007

Valuing family has all of a sudden taken on a new meaning to me , our family was never close i have two sisters and a brother, there was a time where we didnt speak to each other for 15 years all over an understandin but when my mother died 5 years ago we all made up tho still not realy close, we are scattered all over the country ,today my brother phoned me to tell me he has lung cancer and the doctors have given him 1 year at the most, how i wish i could turn the clock back and make amends for that 15 years
in two weeks im of on holiday to a villa in italy for a week so tomorow im going down to blackpool to my see my brother and im going to ask him to come on holiday with me im also going to ask my sisters , all of a sudden Valuing family has become very important to me, thank you kateB for starting this thread because it started to make me think.

  Kate B 23:25 22 Aug 2007

dukeboxhero, I'm very sorry to hear your sad news about your brother, but pleased that you've got something positive from the thread - that was what I hoped when I started it.

  Spark6 23:37 22 Aug 2007

I feel for you. Your brother's illness is the same as my brother had. Be brave and try to make the most of your time together. Our thoughts are with you.

  Legolas 18:32 26 Aug 2007

The older you get the more important and valuable family becomes, although we are quite a close family we don't live in each others pockets but we became closer 7 years ago when my mother died. When the chips are down and so called friends disappear it is then you realise how important and to be appreciated and treasured family is.

  Legolas 18:35 26 Aug 2007

There's not much you can do about the past but you can affect the present and the future, what you are planning to do with your family takes courage I wish you and your brother and sister a happy reunion.

This thread is now locked and can not be replied to.

Elsewhere on IDG sites

Alienware 17 R4 2017 review

These brilliant Lego posters show just what children's imaginations are capable of

Mac power user tips and hidden tricks

Comment réinitialiser votre PC, ordinateur portable ou tablette Windows ?