unsuccessful in your application to offer me a job

  Z1100 22:55 21 Nov 2006
Locked

Does anyone have the full text to this 'spoof'?

"I am writing to inform you that you have been unsuccessful in your application to offer me a job within your firm…".

I had it years ago and I know just the place to be sending it right now but I cannot for the life of me remember the text. Do you?

Hanx!
K.

  Diodorus Siculus 16:38 22 Nov 2006

Dear_________:

Thank you for your letter of April 15. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me the position of teacher. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your school's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will plan on commencing my position as a teacher on August 25. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,

  Diodorus Siculus 16:41 22 Nov 2006

BIGLAW LLP
666 Market Lane
New York, NY 10000

Dear BIGLAW Firm:

Thank you for your recent letter. In view of my summer employment needs, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a summer position at this time.

I and my fellow students have had a very successful rejection collection program this winter. I assure you that it was a difficult decision, as I have been rejected by many high quality firms of talented lawyers such as your own. With such great interest, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

I am sorry that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. I look forward to starting summer employment with you as soon as finals are finished, and invite you to reject me again for your 2005 summer associate program.

Best regards,

A Law Student

  JoE. 12:32 23 Nov 2006

I applied for a part time job at a local music outlet this past summer, but as yet haven't got so much as a 'No thank you' from them. Perhaps I should follow up with one of the above examples ;o)

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