"Cinderella Law" how would it work

  carver 10:20 30 May 2014

I know that children can be abused but really how would a proposed "Cinderella law" be workable.

I have seen children who are so upset at their parents attitude towards them that they ended up in tears, yet different child , parents attitude the same and child has just worked harder to get the result wanted.

I hope that my wife and myself have tried our best to treat our children with the respect they deserve but at times it's hard to know which is the best course to take.

Is it emotional abuse for a parent to tell a child that they can not have some thing unless they change their attitude, that it's their fault that exam results are disappointing when the parent knows full well with a bit more work they could have achieved more.

Or is it emotionally abuse to send a child to boarding school when that child wanted to remain at home.

Were does it start and when does it just become a parent chastising a child.

That Morris Robinson in the article said "You would ask him to maybe fix your bike and he'd say: 'I've f*g told you it won't fix'."

Maybe it was the 10th time he'd asked and the parent couldn't fix it and couldn't afford a new bike and he was just getting his parent worked up.

Do we really need a law that is going to tell you how to talk to your child, and if you do not obey it what happens, child is taken into care, parents locked up, and for what, telling your child it's an idiot.

  wiz-king 12:33 30 May 2014


  fourm member 12:47 30 May 2014

'child is taken into care'

As I understand it, the civil action to take a child into care can already be based on emotional abuse. This is about adding a criminal offence.

This morning's TV reporting suggested that emotional abuse can have longer lasting effects than physical abuse partly because the victim feels society is siding with the abuser. Making real long-term emotional abuse a criminal offence could be helpful to a lot of people even if no-one gets prosecuted.

I'm not an expert so I can't offer a definition of what emotional abuse should be called criminal but just as it is possible to determine the difference between brief chastisement and physical abuse it should be possible to tell the difference between 'telling your child it's an idiot' and damaging emotional abuse.

  carver 14:41 30 May 2014

fourm member "it should be possible to tell the difference between 'telling your child it's an idiot' and damaging emotional abuse."

But how?

As I pointed out in that article one child's abuse could be another child's wake up call to get on with life.

Ask any parent what would be their reaction to a child who kept on asking for some thing over and over again, maybe it would be 'I've f*g told you it won't fix'." but according to Morris Robinson that would be child abuse.

Could emotional abuse be applied to some one who never chastises their child and lets them get away with murder (literally) The defence is my parents weren't strict enough and emotionally scared me for life.

  Mr Mistoffelees 16:25 30 May 2014

We need this law as soon as possible. I know it won't be easy to make it work well and I'm sure there will be problems but, emotional abuse can be and is extremely damaging.

  bumpkin 17:15 30 May 2014

I don't see how legislation will prevent bad parenting. Some will be good, some will be bad, the vast majority will do their best.

We don't need more laws, more lawyers, more authorities. More education for those that are failing would be a good start but not something that can be enforced. If some people do not care about their children then they never will no matter what is done.

  fourm member 20:28 30 May 2014

'But how?'

By letting highly qualified people who are very familiar with dealing with abused children determine what needs action.

As I said, they already do that for civil proceedings to take children into care.

The criminal law will just require a higher standard of proof.

  bumpkin 21:41 30 May 2014

I have a 4yr old grand daughter, mum slapped her legs for messing around with a power socket (physical abuse} she cried for 5mins then gave mum a hug and said sorry. Then she was not allowed to use the laptop for a week as she was doing nothing else but play on it all day long (mental cruelty} I suppose. Asked her today if she wanted it, no she said, not allowed it till Sunday. When I asked her what she had been doing instead, been to see her friends, been to the park with mummy, played in the garden. Always laughing or singing, never seen a happier child. So the best thing to do would be to take her away to somewhere she hates and put mum in prison according to these morons that are experts in child care. NOBODY is an expert in child care, every person and every child is different.

  carver 01:51 31 May 2014

I suppose by the same experts enter link description here who sorted this woman's family out or this oneenter link description here.

bumkin "NOBODY is an expert in child care, every person and every child is different" very true and until you have had children you can't even start to know the difficulties involved.

  fourm member 10:01 31 May 2014


'NOBODY is an expert in child care'

What an insulting thing to say to the huge numbers of social workers who take their responsibilities very seriously and agonise over what they can do better whenever there is the sort of story that carver linked to.

Does it never occur to anyone that the fact a newspaper makes a big story out of this sort of failing itself shows how rare they are?

  fourm member 10:32 31 May 2014


'Making new, sweeping, laws based on rarity of occurrence is never a good idea.'

You talk about the press liking to sell papers but then buy into the sensationalisation that the press has indulged in.

Who says this is going to be 'sweeping'? The idea that it will be a criminal offence to tell a child off is what the press is trying to sell to get attention.

As I posted before, there is evidence to suggest that severe emotional abuse can have longer term impacts than physical abuse because it seems that society doesn't see it as wrong.

Suppose a child commits suicide because its parents have consistently told it the world would be better off without it. Should society's response be 'Oh dear, no laws broken'?

No matter how rare that event surely it needs to be an offence?

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