A Poem "Daftland"

  Bingalau 16:02 02 Apr 2012

Just got this one by e-mail but no idea who the poet is. Maybe he didn't want to be hauled over the coals by the poet police.


         We live in a country called Daftland
         The Britain we knew is no more
         Where sensible people do ludicrous things
         Or risk breaking some Daftland law.
         In Daftland we've police dogs with muzzles
         Less the villain has cause to complain
         And to steal from a shop and say 'sorry'
         Means you're free with no stain to your name.

        You had better leave lights on in buildings
         When you lock up and go home at night
         'cause the burglars might hurt themselves entering
         And there's no way you'll be in the right.
         When speaking be wary in Daftland
         As some terms that you've used all your life
         Now have connotations unintended
         And you'll end up in all sorts of strife.

         We elect politicians in Daftland
         To give us the laws of the land
         Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad
         The whole thing has got out of hand.
         The borders are open in Daftland
         And of migrants there's no keeping track
         Just a few of the thousands illegally here
         Will ever be caught and sent back.

         The exception to this is the hero
         Who fought for this land in the war
         He's old and he's sick, he might cost us a bit
         So he's not welcome here any more.
         When the history is written of Daftland
         Historians may just recall
         That the craziest people in Daftland
         Were the public who put up with it all.
  badgery 16:09 02 Apr 2012

"..but no idea who the poet is"

Editor of the Daily Mail, perhaps?

  Flak999 16:22 02 Apr 2012

Whoever it is, they have hit the nail on the head!

  john bunyan 16:31 02 Apr 2012

Try Googling - Oz, Canada and many organisations quote it - eg:

Daftland Canada

  Blackhat 16:51 02 Apr 2012

The most likely poet is Darryl Ashton who is a stand up comedy poet from Blackpool, although many other names come forward when googling but most others seem to be just copying and posting in their own name.

  victor meldreww 09:34 14 Apr 2012

Hello to everyone.

Please do check these poems out they are hilarious! Very satirical and funny! I hope the link works. Thank you all.


Thank you and God Bless You All.

  victor meldreww 09:16 15 Apr 2012

Here's a fantastic and very satirical poem about the UK Budget. Its from that master comedy poet; DARRYL ASHTON.


Four million elderly will pay the bill For the chancellor he'll take his fill The millionaires will thank him too And bung the government a few million or two!

Petrol now is already sky high So dear George Osborne rises to deny Our motorists are already clobbered By the UK's rip-off petrol cost cupboard.

Cigarette's too - they are now sky high To raise money for the tax to deny They plan to "BAN" all cigarettes But then they'll have no VAT to collect?

Alcohol too - that has risen That is also in the Gestapo's vision? They want to 'out-price' it - even ban it? And soon we'll have nothing left to celebrate!

The millionaires are dancing with glee They've been handed more than me? We save and we save but for what reason? To line the pockets of bankers and Osborne?

To hell with the pensioners that is the message From the Government who says: they are just carnage? To live off a pittance and struggle on by While the rich get richer - like pigs in their Sty!



  carver 10:52 15 Apr 2012

Bingalau so true.

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