Over 70's Carers

  rawprawn 18:40 27 Jul 2008
Locked

How many of us over 70 are still caring for aged parents?
We have been caring for our aged parents for 25 years. My mother and father died aged 90, and my wife's father died at 86, we are still caring for her mother who is now over 90 years old.
When I retired I thought I would be free to go and do the many things that I had saved for during my working life. Not so, our travel is restricted, and we are continually looking after "Mum"
I'm sorry if this sounds like a moan, but it is. At the moment I feel that by the time I am free to do what I want, I shall be too old, and my health will have deteriorated to a point where it is no longer feasible.

  John B 18:50 27 Jul 2008

My wife's family has looked after her Gran for eight years (she recently died aged ninety six).

They provided 24 /7 cover in her own house and in the family's opinion, that's what kept her alive. They considered it their duty.

Interestingly, a few decades ago, people my have been complaining about persons of your age and longevity.

  John B 18:53 27 Jul 2008

that carers should be properly recognised and rewarded for their 'loyalty'.

  rawprawn 18:53 27 Jul 2008

We provide 24/7 cover in her own house, and consider it our duty. However it doesn't change the fact that we ourselves are getting older.

  John B 18:56 27 Jul 2008

However... (with all respect) what are the alternatives?

  rawprawn 19:00 27 Jul 2008

I'm afraid none, we always have her here all day on Sundays, and eat dinner together.
I suppose I am just a bit down, I was diagnosed last week with an incurable problem, and just feel I could have had more out of my retired life.

  rawprawn 19:03 27 Jul 2008

I will mark this as resolved, perhaps it was wrong of me to start it.

  John B 19:07 27 Jul 2008

I can also understand how it gets you down. Some of my wife's family are also in their seventies. They now do have free time although some are at a loss with what to do with it due to the eight years of commitment.

Do you have the support of social services and respite care?

  johndrew 19:13 27 Jul 2008

Only just picked this up.

You should be able to get a level of support from your local authority. Not necessarily cash, but a helper or nurse to call in at least daily.

It is time that carers were recognised for what they do, and as your say, generally, carers are getting older as well.

  Bingalau 19:19 27 Jul 2008

Looks like this will become a bigger problem in future as people are living longer, I suppose one remedy would be not to have children until you're in your late thirties or early forties, The children would then be looking after the parents before they themselves reached old age. But I can't see that happening. In fact with all these schoolchildren pregnancies it looks like it will get a lot worse, mind you when their children grow up they will probably be just as uncaring as the gymslip mums and dads.

  rawprawn 19:34 27 Jul 2008

Sorry, I shouldn't have started this thread. Self pity is good for no man.

This thread is now locked and can not be replied to.

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