An old saw but raises a chuckle

  jack 08:39 09 Nov 2010
Locked

every time one of my flock sends it to me







*For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way

computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo

(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the

auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the

computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got

1,000 miles to the gallon."*

*In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be

driving cars with the following characteristics*

*(and I just love this part):*

*1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

**2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to

buy a new car.*

*3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You

would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,

shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could

continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause

your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would

have to reinstall the engine.*

*5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was

reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run

on only five percent of the roads.*

*6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all

be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"

warning light.*

*7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.*

*8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out

and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door

handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.*

*9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn

how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate

in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.*

*Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -

their computer*

  gengiscant 09:05 09 Nov 2010

A lot of truth there jack.

  gengiscant 10:20 09 Nov 2010

Not sure what you are trying to say. But it won't be the first time you have lost me.

  johndrew 10:32 09 Nov 2010

As you say it always raises a bit of a chuckle.

Having said that, and on reflection, with cars becoming more computerised (engine management systems, electric handbrakes, 'fly by wire' accelerators, etc.) we may find some of these coming to fruition before much longer!!

  Pine Man 10:33 09 Nov 2010

Urban myth!

  jakimo 10:47 09 Nov 2010

GM forgot to mention the computerized HMRC tax collection system

  lotvic 11:02 09 Nov 2010

It's supposed to make you laugh.... and I need cheering up. I've got fungi growing behind the cooker - leaky pipe in stud wall (must have been dribbling for a very long time)

  jack 11:41 09 Nov 2010

I've got fungi growing behind the cooker-says lotvic
Hmm a bit of Olive oil and Garlic in the pan - a home grown crop.
Computerize cars wrote John Drew - so very true
I well remember the day of feeler gauges for points and rocker gaps carb tweaking - Now open the bonnet two lumps of plastic held down with patent screws and if get them off what do you find?
I dunno it all a mystery now.

Actually, a complete absence of truth wrote FM
Well there you go who ever allegedly made the utterances it's what one may call a 'Truism'

  Seth Haniel 11:48 09 Nov 2010

well you go a high % who appreciated the humour (as that is what it was)always goes over the head of some though



:)

  Forum Editor 17:24 09 Nov 2010

It's one of hundreds of those 'a friend just sent me this' things that circulate on a more or less constant basis.

I always smile at item number 10 though.

  gengiscant 18:08 09 Nov 2010

I meant truth in an ironic way.DOH

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