Loss Of Very Dear Friend

  Crosstrainer2 08:06 21 Aug 2011
Locked
Answered

....Sorry to post this here, but if FE feels it's inappropriate then please remove it.

My dearest and closest friend passed away 2 hours ago after a battle with cancer. I have made the usual phone calls, but e-mails going crazy at the moment.

He lived alone, and I will be organising the funeral according to his wishes as past to me a year or so ago.

He was the kindest, most talented person I have ever known, and even when in hospital for the last time, and heavily sedated, he asked "Shall we take our cameras out today"

A fitting tribute.

Sorry all.....Sometimes it helps Jeff

  Aitchbee 08:26 21 Aug 2011

Jeff, I hope you are strong and give him a good send off. It must be very hard to lose your best friend. HB

  Crosstrainer2 08:38 21 Aug 2011

Thanks...I need to let off steam a little......Shouldn't have posted here really...We have all suffered loss. My usual release is to play loud guitar, but Sunday AM is a bad time.

He wants a simple affair, all sorted really....but it's selfish of me to think that he has gone.

Not unexpected. But hurts.

  zzzz999 09:01 21 Aug 2011

May your dear friend rest in peace.

  Forum Editor 09:14 21 Aug 2011

"Shouldn't have posted here really"

Why not? You've suffered the tragic loss of a dear friend, and you're feeling emotional. There's nothing wrong about sharing your sense of grief.

The way we react to the death of a friend or a loved one is naturally selfish - the friend has gone, and feels nothing, so we can do little other than examine our own feelings. We all do it. My condolences to you.

  flycatcher1 10:31 21 Aug 2011

Crosstrainer2 You have my sympathy.

I have found that having good friends is often one of the most important things in life and the loss of one is quite heartbreaking.

No one really dies if they are remembered by those who cared for them.

  Fruit Bat /\0/\ 10:42 21 Aug 2011

Go out and take a few photos of his favourite places as a tribute.

Remember the goods times and the fact he is no longer suffering.

My condolences.

  Crosstrainer2 10:43 21 Aug 2011

Peter.

Thank you

  Forum Editor 10:51 21 Aug 2011

I think an ancient Greek once wrote that "a faithful friend is the medicine of life".

That comes home most forcefully to most of us when the faithful friend has gone.

  Blackhat 11:10 21 Aug 2011
Answer

You have my sympathies, you are in a strange place emotionally right now, I have been there recently. My brother passed away 2 months ago following a short illness, much unexpected, aged 50.

There is a feeling that you have right now that is new to you and hard to understand, please don’t forget it, it is the breaking of a bond and as time goes by the emotions will subside but you will want to drift back to this dark place now and then as it will probably be the strongest feelings you have had for your friend.

Let the emotion take over for a while, it is a stage you have to go through. Unfortunately for me I had to be the strong one as our parents are in their eighties and there are no other siblings, it wasn’t until 2 weeks after his funeral that I had cleared up his estate and was able to take time off work to grieve.

Then it hit me hard, I cried on and off for a few days (I am welling up as I write this). My only regret is that I had to hold back for so long before I could let the emotions take over, so let the feeling of loss embrace you for a while, feeling selfish is natural at this time, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

If your friend had no religious convictions I can recommend a Humanist service, no hymns or prayers, just a celebration of life.

  Strawballs 12:16 21 Aug 2011

Blackhat

That is what we had when my father died, I can recomend it and the song that was played as we left the crematorium was the monty python one always look on the bright side of life as it was the only wish his wish to do so.

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