Humorous recitations….

  Brumas 22:26 12 Sep 2006

Not being a singer (tone deaf) when called on to ‘perform’, I always managed to save face by reciting the following…

Me and my father went hunting one day,
When a dirty great lion came bounding our way,
My father being old, decrepit and grey,
Turned on his heels and ran away,
But me being young, virile and slim
Was bloody miles ahead of him!

What’s your favourite CLEAN recitation?
I must admit Albert and the Lion is one of mine but it is far too long for me to commit to memory.

  siouxah1 22:47 12 Sep 2006

For those of a nautical or aeronautical mind.

If red and green at night are seen
Close your eyes and go between.

  BT 08:41 13 Sep 2006

If you want all the old recitations etc. have a look here ;-)
click here

  martjc 10:36 13 Sep 2006

The version I heard was:

"Green to green, red to red - perfect safety, go ahead."

  Sapins 10:55 13 Sep 2006

Brilliant site. Do you happen to know where I can find the words for "The baby's gone out with the water"

  SB23 11:03 13 Sep 2006

There was one I remember that started,
"One bright night in the middle of the day, 2 dead men got up to fight, back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.....", that sadly is all I remember.
Anyone know the rest?

  knockin on 11:50 13 Sep 2006

My recollection is:

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight.
Three blind men to see fair play
and six dumb men to shout Hoo-ray.
back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.

  knockin on 11:53 13 Sep 2006

There was a young man from Japan,
Who's poetry never would scan.
The trouble, each time,
Was never the rhyme:
But that he always tried, in the last line, to include as many words as one possibly can.

  siouxah1 12:34 13 Sep 2006

I fear that your version is the correct one.

I promise you that I did not teach my students my version during night flying periods. Honest!


  lisa02 12:36 13 Sep 2006

There once was a man called Hardcastle
By a billiard ball he was struck
and on his tombstone was written
Hardcastle, hard ball, hard luck.

  lisa02 12:43 13 Sep 2006

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candle stick,
Silly boy, should have jumped higher,
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

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