How will children learn if they are not taught?

  Brumas 00:07 05 Jan 2007

It was around noon, I was feeling peckish so I availed myself of Morrison’s generosity by ‘tasting’ their samples of Quiche Lorraine offered at the delicatessen counter, as you do – and very nice it was too. A young couple and their two lovely toddlers followed suite but I was amazed at how this was achieved!

Dad – Do you want some?
First child – yes
Second child – yes

Dad hands the samples to children and they wolf it down.
When dad asked the children, they did not say Please and when they received the sample, they did not say Thank You. As Dad or Mum did not point this out how the heck will the children learn good manners?

Before anyone jumps in and calls me Old-Fashioned I have to say it caused me to recall my upbringing - we may have been poor but we were well mannered!

Whilst I am on my little ‘rant’ – why don’t the younger section of society carry a handkerchief? Is it cool to sniff and snort as opposed to using a handkerchief which is specifically designed for the very purpose of alleviating that problem! When I was ‘out and about’ as a young buck I always carried two, one for immediate use and one, folded and pressed in my inside jacket pocket, should either I or the young lady be of need of it ;o)

  Jak_1 00:15 05 Jan 2007

No you are not old fashioned. Manners cost nothing but gain a lot. My great nephews are brought to task by their parents and grand parents if the fail to say please and thank you. Good manners are basic things that should be taught early by parents.
I get the same when I am out and about, I was always taught to hold a door open for a lady or gent, I still do that but the number of times a simple thank you is given is very low.

  Forum Editor 00:23 05 Jan 2007

are very much in the eye of the beholder, don't you think? One person's 'good manners' are another's insufferable pettiness - gone are the days (thank goodness) when every child had to be seen and not heard, and every schoolteacher called every male child by his surname (not girls, for some reason, they were always addressed by their Christian names). A lot of what some people refer to as good manners in children was just adult domination going to work - children were taught to 'know their place', and as a result whole generations grew up without ever experiencing a truly friendly relationship with their parents.

It's good to say 'please' and 'thankyou' but it's hardly the end of the world if a child forgets. Most adults end up saying those kind of things because they recognise the oil that makes human encounters run smoothly.

On the subject of handkerchiefs - the sooner they become extinct the better. Fabric handkerchiefs are a revolting legacy from an earlier time - before paper tissues were invented.

  LastChip 01:00 05 Jan 2007

simple as that.

There are far too few in both adults and children at the moment, and frankly, I'm delighted when on some rare occasion, I actually hear a child saying please and thank you.

In fact, just before Christmas while at work, a child asked me for something in a very nice way and I in turn (in front of her friends) went out of my way to compliment her on her good manners and hopefully, I did it in a way that did not embarrass her.

I don't believe children forget (all the time). They are either not taught properly, or are too lazy to put it into practice. Or perhaps they see it as "not cool", as their friends are just as rude.

The problem is, people have forgotten the simple things in life, that really make a difference. It's all part of the degraded society, we are now all members of, and I'm afraid it goes a lot deeper than just good manners.

  sean-278262 01:24 05 Jan 2007

Ok as one of these young people refered to in the above. I have always been taught to be good mannered and even I get annoyed if not given politeness back. Even a small sign of thanks such as a wave or nod can be enough in some cases.

However for the topic of "handkerchiefs" biologically we are designed to consume the material produced by the nasal cavity and excreet it. Dont blame me that is how we and most mammalian beings work. So when complained for this my opinion is to take it right to biology. Why doesnt my dog use a hankerchief when she sneezes? Same thing you have a problem with. I dont want to argue just pointing out the facts.

I totally agree with the former point however and drives me mad at the same point when it isnt done.

  wolfie3000 09:34 05 Jan 2007

Who on earth would want to carry there snot about in a cloth?

  DrScott 09:57 05 Jan 2007

not suffered from perennial rhinitis as I do - essentially a permanent cold. I tried small packs of tissues, but I used a pack up about every two hours. It made for bulky pockets and was rather uneconomic.

Handkerchiefs are much more portable and allow me to breathe better. During sneezing attacks, they are especially good at protecting the unsuspecting. Given that the mucus isn't infective either, it's not tooo unhygienic - I'd rather do without but my atopy prevents me :(

  lisa02 10:20 05 Jan 2007

Dr S my partner suffers the same thing.

  Bingalau 10:55 05 Jan 2007

"Manners Maketh the Man" was the saying taught in our school. and of course another was "Cleanliness is next to Godliness". I always carry a couple of Handkerchiefs with me in the event of a sneezing attack. Nothing worse than being in a shop, when dust or some airborne item, causes a sneeze, and not having one to put over the nose. If you have a cold then stay in bed with a large packet of paper tissues and a large glass of rum. While on about manners. Whatever happened to standing up for older citizens when travelling on a bus or a train etc.? It must be habit with me because I stood up for a lady on the train a few nights ago, she had been shopping and had lots of goodies with her. She was in her fifties and I am 76. She was very grateful, but my wife said "Hey! She was probably one of those ladies who burned her bra in the cause of fighting for equal rights". ..Bingalau..

  lisa02 11:09 05 Jan 2007

"She was probably one of those ladies who burned her bra...."

Never happened, it's a myth thanks to the journalists at the time seeking headlines.

  Bingalau 12:00 05 Jan 2007

My wife always says she doesn't want equal rights because she doesn't want to have to lower herself to my level. ..Bingalau..

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