The high divorce rate etc.

  Cymro. 13:02 10 May 2008
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I dare say that this subject has come up before on the forum but what do you make of so many marriages ending up in divorce?

What do you think is the answer to the problem of divorce, assuming you consider it to be a problem?

Personally I have been married 35 years this year. As with most marriages we have had our ups and downs but I certainly don`t regret getting married.

The above statement is not a case of me bragging about my own marriage just a statement of fact so that you know where I am coming from on this one.

  Clapton is God 13:18 10 May 2008

"so that you know where I am coming from on this one"

No, I haven't a clue.

Would you care to explain?

  Cymro. 13:23 10 May 2008

"No, I haven't a clue."

There are probably many on this forum who have experienced divorce so when I said "so that you know where I am coming from on this one" it is so that no one thinks I am bragging about my own marriage.

  Forum Editor 13:31 10 May 2008

the divorce rate is currently at its lowest for over twenty years - since 1984 in fact. This is probably due to the fact that marriage rates are now the lowest they've been since records began - far fewer people are getting married, so there are fewer marriages to end in divorce.

You can play all sorts of games with statistics like these, and before making any hard and fast judgments about peoples' lives it might be worth considering how many actual partnerships fail, rather than basing conclusions on recorded divorce figures.

Figures from France and Germany show that couples who cohabit rather than getting married have a slightly lower risk of their relationship failing.

In america and the UK there's evidence to suggest that couples who cohabit are much more likely to see their relationship fail than are married couples, but it's very difficult to be sure - especially now that there it is now forbidden to include a 'marital status' question on any official form - the office of statistics can no longer be sure how many people are in cohabiting partnerships.

It's also likely that many married couples stay together, even though their relationship has ceased to have any real meaning. Lots of married people still fear the 'divorce' stigma as a sign of failure, so they avoid it. It's much easier to end a cohabiting relationship, at least in the legal and social sense.

An interesting insight into attitudes was provided by the British Social Attitudes Survey 2002

They found that older people were far more likely to think that divorce was the best solution when married couples couldn't work out their problems - 62% of people between the ages of 45 and 64 said this, and 72% of people over 65 said it.

Of all the people questioned only 23% thought that married people were generally happier than non-married people, and 68% thought it was OK for people to live together without intending to marry.

  Clapton is God 13:34 10 May 2008

So, you've been married for 35 years and, presumably therefore, not divorced.

But that still doesn't tell me what you feel about the high divorce rate.

Are you worried, sad, happy or believe the end of the world is nigh?

Do you have the answer to it?

Or are you like me - married for 27 years and couldn't give a toss if others are unable to sustain a lasting relationship?

  Cymro. 13:35 10 May 2008

"British Social Attitudes Survey 2002"
Now I am impressed, that is what I call research before contributing to a post on the forum.

  Cymro. 13:42 10 May 2008

Generally speaking I don`t think you give a toss about very much of anything.

As for myself I think it rather sad as it must have lead to a lot of heart ache to a lot of people. As for the end of the world, no I don`t think it will lead to the end of the world, and no I don`t have an answer to it and I don`t expect to find one on this forum.

  Forum Editor 13:53 10 May 2008

that relationships between men and women often fail, and a religious ceremony, or a registry office certificate isn't going to equip two people for lifelong happiness.

Throughout history, couples have stayed together in misery for convention's sake - they didn't part because of the social stigma, or because their religion frowned on it, or because they (mistakenly) thought that it would be better for the children. They soldiered on, preferring to stay as they were, rather than go through the process of disentanglement and upheaval the ending of a marriage entailed.

Then we made it easier to divorce - it could be done without a huge fuss, and without the tut-tutting of society in general. People responded to this new-found freedom by divorcing in their thousands, and for the first time it became acceptable to cohabit - an enlightened society realised that it was just plain silly to say that only a church or civil ceremony could forge a lasting relationship.

I don't believe that two people should remain locked in a bad relationship because of a piece of paper, and thank goodness we as a society agree.

  Clapton is God 15:32 10 May 2008

"Generally speaking I don`t think you give a toss about very much of anything"

I really have better things to do with my time than worry about the "what ifs" of this world.

  al7478 15:42 10 May 2008

afterall, the single greatest cause of divorce is matrimony.

  tullie 16:46 10 May 2008

Whats the Etc,?

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