On the show I mentioned there was also some discussion about squirreling away money for 'escape funds' - so if the relationship breaks down, there's some cash there to sort yourself out with.
Sounds like a good idea - a bit bleak and cynical maybe - but practical!!
Me and the other half have also got joint bank accounts but we still spend a little bit more 'behind each others backs' to a small degree - and I would have thought everyone else would have as well. The odd time as well, I have squirreled away a few quid.
Nothing major though. There was a las on the show that said she discovered her husband had accrued £30'000 in debt and nothing to show for it.
I have been married now for over thirty years and all that time I have always held back a small part of the the money that comes in to our house. At no time has the total amount exceeded a thousand pounds.
My wife knows nothing of this money and it is used for such things as buying her presents at Christmas etc. that are a little more expensive than she realizes.
All right, some of this slush fund ends up being spent on myself at the local pub or some such thing, but all in all I think it has added to the overall success of our marriage.
The thing that many married couples argue the most about is in some way related to money and how much is available to spend on non essential things. So I firmly believe that what the eye does not see the heart does not grieve.
I think the question is do you Trust your partner?
If yes is the answer then there should be no reason to hide anything from her/him.
My partner and I have just moved in together and we have both agreed to set up a joint bank account. She will keep her existing account as I will, just for those little extra items required at birthdays and Christmas.
Personally I think if there is not Trust in a relationship then the relationship will not last.