Engrish as she will be spaken

  jack 11:15 02 Jan 2008

Over the holiday I discussed with my daughter[a Junior School Teacher of 20 years standing] how the language of children seems to be changing.
She agreed that in her immigrant rich area of North West London this was certainly the case, West Indian Asian European children all together with perhaps a minority of local native English speakers- seem to be melding into a 'New sort of English.
Why do I mention this?
The below is meant to be a 'Funny' sent to me by a chum living in France.
But perhaps there is a hidden truth.


*This is great!

> the European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.
> As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
less letter.
> in the sekond year, there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling.
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and should go away.
> By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
> Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas


  Devil Fish 11:52 02 Jan 2008

this one has been doing the rounds for a few years now but it is amusing

  Miros 12:22 02 Jan 2008

You may be interested in this click here which will remove those annoying quote (>>>>) marks.

And yes it is an old one.

  sunny staines 12:39 02 Jan 2008

with the exception of france most of european nations speak good english so its nearly a european / world language.

  jack 14:16 02 Jan 2008

Sunny Staines wrote
with the exception of France most of European nations speak good English so its nearly a European / world language.
France is not totally along in stubbornly sticking to its native tongue , there is that little off shore island just off the west coast of France that too thinks in the main the blasted foreigners should speak English, that if shouted at they will understand. ;-}

  john bunyan 14:40 02 Jan 2008

Fog in Channel - Europe isolated!

  jack 15:30 02 Jan 2008

Thanx for that a useful tool now to look for one that will get rid of pages of addresses and page construction data

  Forum Editor 17:07 02 Jan 2008

since when it seems to crop up at least once a year with monotonous regularity. I suppose that each year there's a fresh batch of people who haven't seen it.

  Miros 17:02 03 Jan 2008

"now to look for one that will get rid of pages of addresses and page construction data"

I always copy, paste, and then edit. Don't know if any one else knows a better or easier way?

  Forum Editor 17:33 03 Jan 2008

"If a Hungarian learns English he can talk to the world."

Exactly. When I first started travelling to the Far East on business - a good many years ago now - I was keen to impress the people I would be working with, and thought I would start to learn to converse in Chinese. My client soon put me wise, and told me the same thing - they all learn English, so they can converse will pretty well anyone in Europe, America, Africa, and Australasia.

  Bingalau 20:56 03 Jan 2008

FE. true, but I do know that when I visit Germany the locals, who all speak perfect English, appreciate me trying to speak their language. I find I get along with them much better for the effort. I also think that while you are learning their language you are also learning something about their habits and culture. That's got to be a good thing.

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