And all this time my mouse has a click!

  Sapins 21:23 08 Feb 2009

Just had two hearing aids fitted, the latest technology is really unbelievable, as my thread title says, I can hear my mouse click, and the keyboard is deafening.

But, I digress, I am looking for the words of a poem/song which describes how a young bridegroom watches his new bride getting ready for bed as she takes off her wig, puts it on the bedside chair then proceeds to take out her teeth, then remove, I believe, a false leg and other "parts".

It ends with the line "so he slept on the chair, well, there was more of her there"

Anyone know the words?

  Legolas 21:27 08 Feb 2009

Sapins I don't know the song you mean but it sounds very interesting I am intrigued to know the the words ;))

  Chegs ®™ 21:28 08 Feb 2009

click here

Anything like?

  Sapins 21:35 08 Feb 2009

The last one seems to be the one I was looking for, but it doesn't seem quite the same version I knew, mind you, as you will guess, I have forgotten nearly all the words. Perhaps someone will come up with another version?

  €dstowe 09:03 09 Feb 2009

To the tune of: After the Ball Was Over

After the ball was over, after the break of morn,
After the dancers' leaving, after the stars are gone;
Many a heart is aching, if you could read them all;
Many the hopes that have vanished, after the ball.

After the ball was over, she took out her big glass eye,
Put her false teeth in the water, hung up her wig to dry;
Placed her false arm on the table, laid her false leg on the chair;
After the party was over, she was only half there!

There are some more verses but (apart from me not remembering them) they are far from being polite in mixed company.

  Pineman100 18:55 09 Feb 2009

FE's not looking!

  Sapins 20:51 10 Feb 2009

Thank you all for your contibutions, fourm member, that's the nearest to the one I was thinking about.

  Fermat's Theorem 21:09 10 Feb 2009

The Very Unfortunate Man

There was a lawyer, his name was Clay
He had but two clients and they wouldn't pay
At last of starvation he grew so afraid
That he courted and married a wealthy old maid

At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake
'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake
The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed
But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed

At night in their chamber the lady arose
And began to prepare to retire and repose
Her husband stood near her admiring her charms
That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms

She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face
And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace
The rose on her cheek quickly grew faint
When he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

She went to the mirror to take down her hair
And when she had done so her scalp was all bare
Said she, don't be frightened to see my bald head
I'll put on a cap when I get into bed

She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg
And then she proceeded to take off her leg
Her quivering husband felt sure he would die
When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

Her husband was biting his quivering lips
While she removed her counterfeit hips
Just then her false nose clattered down to the floor
And the poor lawyer, screaming, ran out of the door

Now all you young men who would marry for life
Be sure to examine your intended wife
Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes
And a little bit later got quite a surprise

He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

click here

  delicousfood 03:32 04 Mar 2009

I want to know how to choose the [url=click here]hearing aids[/url]. Can you give me any advice?

  lotvic 00:25 05 Mar 2009

Eeny meeny miny mo

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