Hi I think most of your questions will be answered if you click on to the Microsoft security shield on your desk top The system for updates from Microsoft takes care of itself Normally updates occur on or just after the second Tuesday in the month
Just a suggestion...Windows sometimes installs harsware updates that you may not want or need. To avoid this, I have my pc's set to inform me when updates are available, but I choose the ones I want, and when to install them.
There is no Microsoft Security Shield on my desktop. When downloads are available. I get a shield icon in the blue strip alomside the clock etc. Clicking on it just tells me there's updates available but nbot what. Hence the post.
I too prefer "notify but don't download and install" as I like to see what's on offer and to install at a time of my choosing. If you set it like this, you click the icon balloon message when it appears (windows telling you updates available) and you can then choose to view the updates and tick which you want.
All the setting are in "control panel" and "windows update"
click on the orb, windows updates, change settings, then under ‘important updates’ click on the down arrow and select check for updates but let me choose whether to download & install them’ click ok
then when updates are available you can see which you want to install,
some will be probably be obvious that you need to install them but when you are not sure post on this forum & you will find lots of people willing to guide & help you (they are all a pretty fantastic with lots of patience and knowledge.)