funny i cant acess windows updates right now. have you got data to lose or can you re set? if your machine came with the os already on it there maybe hot keys to push in start up to reset the computer to factory settings. have you got anti virus software? try running a full scan with that. are you going on an account that is administrator or is it limited access as you cant uninstall if you are not admin account. dont worry it will be sortable :)
Try downloading and installing Mbam click here and Superantispyware click here and run full scans with both of them in Safe Mode. To get to Safe Mode, press F8 while your PC is starting, from the menu that appears, choose the Safe Mode option.