Not knowing your wife I can only offer the following suggestions:
Patiently explain how the phone works
Demonstrate how to store numbers and add a contact to a text message
Print out a suitable list of relevant questions that she can choose from
If after a suitable period of time (of your choosing) you are still being driven crackers by her lack of understanding keep the Good Phone and trade her in for a smarter model. Maybe a Petunia would not be so thorny.