Just as the controversy over mobile-phone radiation was starting to die down, a new theory suggests that the humble mobile will be responsible for the end of the world as we know it.

Apparently low-level radiation given off by mobile phones and Wi-Fi devices interferes with bees' navigation systems, preventing the bumbling buzzers from finding their way back to their hives. No pollen, no hives, no polination, no crops, no food, no people.

German research shows that bee behaviour changes near power lines. Another German study has now found that bees refuse to return to their hives when mobile phones are placed nearby - a case of the wrong type of buzz.

The sudden disappearance of pollinating bees started in the US, then spread to Europe and the UK. The natural end result of disorientated bees could be massive food shortages as the world's harvests fail. Albert Einstein said that if the bees disappeared, "man would have only four years of life left".

Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) occurs when a hive's inhabitants suddenly disappear, leaving only queens, eggs and a few immature workers.

The US East Coast has lost 70 per cent of its commercial bee population, with 60 per cent missing on the West Coast. Last week London bee-keeper John Chapple said that over half his hives have been abruptly abandoned.
Further damning proof comes from the Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, which insists "there is absolutely no evidence of CCD in the UK."

That's definite, then. CCD exists. When did you last believe a strenuous denial from a government agency.