It might seem glamorous from the outside, but life on the PC Advisor blog is never easy.

Scarcely a day goes by when we are not deluged by meatheaded press releases, every one of them clamouring for our attention, and pretty much all of them devoid of the slightest news import – and we have to read them all. We do it for you, our beloved readers.

Talking of sifting through other people's excrement, the eminent Dr Gillian McKeith (whose PhD we can only presume was awarded for one of these modern made-up subjects such as litter collection management or English literature) popped into our inbox this morning, her shrill joyless face quite putting us off our morning bacon sandwiches. Not content with scaring the lard off suburban layabouts, the good doctor, we feel obliged to report, has decided to hit the internet and make masses of cash improve the health of the nation.

For a trifling £34.95, you can enjoy the privilege of typing the details of your diet into Ms McKeith's lovely website, then receive a personalised set of instructions to improve your physical condition. One would hope this will be more in-depth than the 'stop drinking beer and have loads of these horrible sunflower seeds while I smell your poo' regularly doled out on 'You are what you eat'.

If you really must, the site in question can be found by clicking here.

(As an afterthought, it's probably worth mentioning that we just adore the fact that Gillian McKeith signs her name ALL IN CAPITALS. Press release merchants take note: this is our favourite device in the world. By upper-casing the name of your two-bit company you will earn our instant attention.)