'Fake Steve Jobs' Dan Lyons, a senior editor at Forbes magazine who writes The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog, takes on Leander Kahney, news editor for Wired.com, in a clash on over whether Apple has to be "so, well, evil".
Fake Steve Jobs (FSJ) gives Leander a real bashing and so far the majority of Wired reader votes are with his no-nonsense approach to running Apple.
Kahney says that “It's not nice to shout at people... It's better to motivate with carrots than sticks.“
FSJ yells back: “Leander, you are a hopeless pussy. This kind of attitude is why you're a hack at Wired and not running your own multi-billion-dollar company. My management style alienates the weak and flabby. That, my friend, is the whole point. I *want* those people to leave.”
In Round 2 Kahney reckons that in a Web 2.0 world “Apple's obsessive secrecy is getting old”.
FSJ is not impressed: “Dude, radical transparency is for idiots. And the fact is that even the people who love to blab about it don't really engage in it. It's all hooey. We will never let our customers in on our plans, because they would tell our competitors. And what would be the point of telling them? So they could give us some feedback? Seriously? Like maybe they know how to design products? Sorry, I just choked on a piece of tofu.”
In Round 3 Kahney tells FSJ that he’s “getting tired of Apple's walled-garden”.
That sends FSJ even wilder: “I'm glad you want VOIP on your iPhone and DivX (whatever that is) movies on Apple TV. You know what? I'd like my Mercedes to give me a blowjob while I drive to work in the morning. But it ain't gonna happen, chump. … Frankly I wish we could control even more than we do, but there are laws about some of these things. You know why we have to control your machines? Simple reason. Because we have to service and support these fucking things, you numbskull. The last thing I want is a bunch of frigtards calling our tech support crying and bitching because they loaded some piece of shit program on something I built and then expecting us to fix their machine after they've fucked it up. No way.”
To read the full transcript of this Apple Smackdown, get yourself over to Wired pronto.