It's not all potato salads and Oculus Rifts you know. We took a dive into Kickstarter's murkiest, quirkiest recesses to find the 12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter (some, but not all, of them from below the waist). (See also: The 10 most ridiculously opulent, mega expensive and utterly stupid gadgets you can't afford .)
You know Kickstarter, right? It's the place to go to seek and receive crowd-funding. A means by which impoverished inventors can glean popular support for the products of their genius.
It's also the place were bonkers products go to die, and where hipsters head to share their whimsy. So in order that you don't have to, we've headed into Kickstarter to discover the 12 most bizarre Kickstarter appeals. Warning: contains quirk and oddity.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 1: That potato salad
You must know the story by now. To recap: Zach Danger Brown asked for $10 of startup funding to, well, to make a potato salad. And then the internet happened, lots of people got the joke - such as it is - and Mr Danger Brown now has $55,000 to spend on potatoes, mayonaise and chives (always use chives). Of course he now has to spend that money making potato salad, albeit some of his stretch goals show that Zach has a creative mind to go with his good sense of humour. Pledge $75 and you will get a pizza party, upgrade to $100 and you get... two different kinds of potato salad.
Clearly the man's a genius and we're all idiots. But what else can we find lurking on the pages of Kickstarter, just waiting for your hard-earned funding...
Keep it above the waist, people
The internet is, of course, chiefly a tool for the betterment of the world's peoples. A tool for freedom of expression and sharing of ideas. But it's also a bottomless bucket of sexfilth. Kickstarter is not immune. (See also: 15 great Twitter tips and tricks: get started with Twitter, get more from Twitter, and recover when things go wrong.)
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 2: Gay men draw vaginas
So this is exactly what it says it is.
Described as 'a beautiful book of vaginas drawn by gay men', these people need just $37,000 to fund a limited edition print run of 1,000 copies, and they aren't far away. Which is nice. The final book will be a conversation piece if nothing else. (Nothing else, but a bit of fun.)
Rumour has it that suggested follow up projects include 'The bottom of wallets drawn by Yorkshiremen', 'The inside of libraries drawn by Essex girls', and 'Positive bank balances drawn by students'. (Post complaining comments below.)
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 3: The 'sexy' smartphone charger
Gay men draw vaginas seems like fun. Harmless fun. Unless this is a particularly dry joke, however, this is just plain weird. Although it is possible there is a different definition of the word 'sexy', with which I am not familiar.
So meet Paul, the sexiest smartphone charger on the planet. Yes it is a cadaverous dummy with a USB charger instead of a penis and a charger like a tail protruding from its arsehole. And yes, it is kind of a joke. Described as a 'sarcastic piece made in response to the current popular trends in social and mobile technologies' it's no Les Dawson when it comes to being funny, but it isn't at least a serious product. Seriously weird, however. And on the way to being funded.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 4: World's largest jockstrap
This isn't a joke. This is a serious attempt to break a serious world record. Well, it's an attempt to break a world record at least.
The artist Michael Barrett set out to create the world's largest jockstrap and in doing so get himself into the Guiness Book of Records. He needed $850 worth of Kickstarter funding and, glory be, he only went and got it.
I would buy that!
Let's leave behind the murky, pixelated world of the nether regions, and find some serious future products in need of your funding. And if not serious, ridiculous. But either way, actual products that you could buy (but probably won't). (See also: Smartphones are evil: 11 weird Google Suggest results, and what they tell us about tech in 2014.)
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 5: Holy baking
You know how everyone gets very excited when they find the image of a venerated figure in a food stuff. How about instead of waiting around for Buddha to appear in a HobNob you took matters into your own hands. Let me introduce you to the slightly bonkers and entirely profane Grilled Cheesus. Don't be offended, it's just bread and cheese - burnt into an image of Jesus Christ.
The GRILLED CHEESUS™ is an electronic sandwich press that toasts the face of Jesus on to your sandwich bread. And in so doing continues the ministry of the son of God. In a sandwich. Probably.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 6: Ostrich pillow
I really like Ostrich pillow. No joke, no sarcasm, this is the sort of thing I could use to shut out the world and get me away from writing stupid stories about Kickstarter.
Ostrich Pillow is - according to its maker - 'a micro environment in which to take a cosy and comfortable power nap at ease'. But really it's a pillow into which you can shove your head and hands and shut out the world for a quick snooze just about anyway. It gives you silence, dark and comfort. What's not to like?
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 7: Shared Snacks: treats your dog can share with you
Yeah, I wouldn't buy this. I've seen what dogs eat. Unless we are eating the same strand of spaghetti from opposite end Fido is on his own.
Not so much a Kickstarter project as a cry for help, Shared Snacks asks for funding to develop treats edible by human and pet. But it does so with a long blog posting from the originator in which he talks about enjoying meals with a veritable menagerie of pets. I'd offer funding, but I'd be worried it would end up discovered half eaten by a stsrving cat when the door is broken down by concerned social services.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 8: Meat Soap
I like eating meat, and I like taking a shower. So, er, what was the question again?
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 9: Bear coat
Now I like fun just as much as the next man, but I fear the makers of the Griz coat are trying to be quirky. And a little quirk goes an awfully long way.
The Griz coat is a coat that looks like a grizzly bear. It's half fancy dress costume, and half hipster fashion item. Or as the creators would have it: 'Griz Coat is the original grizzly bear jacket. Wear it proudly and remember: It's not a costume. It's a lifestyle.'
But so far as I can make out it really is a costume. And unless the wearers find an irresistable urge to defecate in wooded areas, it is not a lifestyle. It's pretty cool though.
Now you're just being silly
We now exit any pretence of getting actual funding to create actual products, and enter the murky world of the gag project. It's a world of wimsy. Tred softly. (See also: The 5 best places to wear Google Glass, the 5 worst places to wear Google Glass - and one on which we can't decide.)
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 10: A chicken burrito?
This lad makes the potato-salad guy look like a captain of industry. Not even prepared to take money to make a burrito, Noboru Bitoy sought a measly $8 funding to buy a chicken burrito from Chipotle. Needless to say he acheived his goal some 1,300 times, and spent the additional money on skydiving (with a burrito). Nice work.
Incidentally, I am going to form a band called Chicken Burrito Skydive. You can crowd fund our first album.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 11: In the cloud
It probably seemed like a hilarious idea at the time. A comedian from LA asked people to donate money so that he could hire a man in a plane to write stupid things with clouds in the sky. Funding target met and exceded, Kurt Braunohler hired the guy, and he wrote 'How do I land?' across the LA skyline. Everyone smirked and then went back to their lives.
Still, the best part of $7,000 well spent.
12 most bizarre projects on Kickstarter. 12: Miley Cyrus Twerking t-shirts
And finally we have to tip our hats to these selfless hipsters who felt that too few people had seen the wayward offspring of Billy Ray Cyrus doing a sexy dance. Yup, thanks to Kickstarter now you can buy Miley Cyrus Twerking t-shirts. Internet, you have a lot for which to answer.
(Actually, they are pretty cool.)